Arrogant Bastard
by De-Irish-Waffle
Summary: Roy Mustang had a bad day. Something made it slightly better.


**Here's one of those one-shots!! (grins) **

**So, me and my mom are 'beer shopping' Sunday (none of us are alcoholic or anything!! Relax!!). We're checking out all these cool imported beers, and I saw this one…..(laughs) I saw this one called ARROGANT BASTARD. **

**It reminded me of Roy Mustang. Thus resulting this extremely short fic.**

**Wow….I got inspiration from a beer. xD**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

Roy Mustang gave a weary sigh as he locked the door to his office. He let out a long yawn, stretching his arms over his head.

It had been one of the longest days of his young life.

Since the second he woke up, everything went wrong. He forgot to set his alarm clock the night before, and, the Colonel not being a morning person, happily woke up at a quarter past twelve in the afternoon, the happy feeling wiped away as he remembered that it was, unfortunately, a weekday. So he literally flew out of bed and had to rush to get ready, and that was a nightmare as well. Toothpaste squirted all over his dress shirt, he mistook hair spray for deodorant (thus resulting in sticky arm pits), he couldn't find his boots, so on and so on.

The drive to work couldn't have been worse. The Colonel got stuck in a heavy, hour long traffic jam (he took a semi-nap during that time, so that wasn't _too _bad), but as soon as he got moving, he got stuck behind an old lady, who apparently forgot that a green light means GO. And the Colonel, being Mr. Impatient, starts cursing and honking his horn like a madman. " IT'S THE PEDAL ON THE RIGHT, WOMAN!!" he screamed out his window.

The startled old woman moved two seconds later.

Eventually, he made it to work. He was instantly greeted by an angry looking Lieutenant Hawkeye, who starts screaming things like, " WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, SIR?" " IT'S PAST NOON, SIR!!" " YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE AHEAD, SIR, AND YOU HAVE NO TIME TO GOOF OFF!!"

Roy briskly walked past her, expecting her to follow close behind. Though she didn't move.

" Sir…….where are your uniform pants?" Riza Hawkeye sighed.

" What are you talking about, Lieutenant?"

Curious, he looked down and realized he was in his pajama bottoms with the little flames and fire trucks on them.

And of course, his car wouldn't start, so he couldn't drive home to get his work pants.

About every soldier that walked past him that day either gawked or burst out laughing. They scurried away as Roy pulled out his deadly gloves.

He made it to his office, where he was met by a couple high stacks of paperwork, which he began to sign furiously, forgetting about his subordinates that just stood there watching and waiting for him to give orders.

Irritated by the stares, Roy glared up from his papers. " What? Get back to work!"

" You have to give us our assignments first," Falman reminded, businesslike.

" Oh. Right." He reached for his subordinate assignment log that usually lay off to the right side of the desk, but nothing was there. The Colonel then remembered that his log was on the counter top in his kitchen.

The four other men waited silently for their superior's reaction.

It shocked them.

" Well, err, I can't find my log where I have your assignments listed, so you all can have the day off."

Cheers of joy and woot woots filled the whole office. A chorus of 'thank yous' and ' we'll be back tomorrows' were said before the office door slammed shut, causing the tallest pile of paperwork toppling over and landing on Roy's head.

He spent the next five hours signing papers.

Then he spent the last four hours of the workday sleeping.

He was abruptly woken up by Hawkeye, who had her gun pointed straight at his head.

" Colonel, you have paperwork to complete."

Roy sleepily looked at the clock that hung on the wall. " But it's ten-thirty….work's over….." he grumbled.

" Well then, expect double the work tomorrow," she said, walking out of the office and shutting the door. Roy groaned.

So yeah, it had been a long day.

And nobody wished him a happy birthday, either.

He turned around and was about to walk down the hallway when he was stopped by a timid looking soldier standing before him.

" Umm….sir….."

" What?" Roy snapped. " I want to get home."

" Y-Yes, well…your car's fixed and there's a-a delivery for you out front."

Roy's eyes widened. A delivery? At this time of night?

" Thank you, soldier," Mustang replied, walking past the other soldier and making his way to the outside.

He was out of the building and out on the white marble steps in search of this 'delivery'. He finally found it on one of the first steps. When Roy got closer, the package was black and bottle shaped. Inquisitive, the Colonel picked it up and studied it.

It was a beer bottle.

" Arrogant…..Bastard?" Roy asked himself, reading the beer's name. A small card was wrapped with thin rope around the beer's top. The Colonel tore it off and read what was on the small card.

_TO COLONEL BASTARD:_

_Found this in Dublith. Thought it suited you._

_Happy Birthday. _

_From, Fullmetal_

Mustang rolled his eyes, yet was surprised that the one person that despised him most was the only one that remembered his birthday.

The Colonel smiled at his present. It was the perfect beer for him.

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**ARROGANT BASTARD: Roy's perfect beer. xD**

**Reviewww!!**


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